Leave that Chicken Alone!

Don’t f*** with your chicken.  It’s like how Coco Chanel said, "When you get dressed, always remember to take one accessory off."  I like to apply that mantra to roast chicken, although, truth be told, I am never the one roasting the chicken in the first place.  I just like to sit on the sidelines, take notes, give directions, and offer witty insights.  Except that my insights are usually not so witty (or at least not as witty as I might like them to be). 

Back to the chicken. You should really just let the chicken stay naked, like a child that never wants to put on a shirt. If you want to make a tasty roast chicken - and note here how I keep typing the word chicken over and over again because it is my favorite word –truss the bird and put it in a pan and rub some salt on it and a little thyme and put it in the oven for fifty minutes.  Don’t overcook it!  This fatal mistake has led many an amateur chef to wonder why their meat is so dry, and many a polite guest to have to fake enjoyment at a dinner party while trying not to choke.  If you want to give your chicken that tanning salon glow, go ahead and brush it with a bit of butter just after it comes out.  Buy Kerrygold or something more expensive.  If you get cheap butter from the Safeway your husband will complain and call you a cheapskate. Give your bird the very best in butter! The resulting chicken will be more golden than Goldie Hawn on Overboard, and it’s breasts just as juicy and tender. 

Recipe: Simple Roast Chicken (thank you Thomas Keller, Bouchon)

Ingredients:

1 happy chicken, super small, 2-3 pounds if you can find it

salt

pepper

thyme

butter

Directions:

1. Truss the chicken - you'll have to look elsewhere to figure out how

2. Place the chicken in a frying pan

3. Rub salt and pepper on the chicken

4. Roast in the over at 450 for fifty minutes

5. Pull out and sprinkle with lovely green thyme and baste with butter

6. Let rest for 15 minutes

***Don't forget to take off the trussing twine